“In order to avoid misunderstandings and potentially damaging rifts in the relationship, agreements need to be clear from the beginning, with clear statements of what they are agreeing to: where fidelity is being promised, where it is not and any rules around interactions with people outside the relationship. It is best to define boundaries as part of this process.”
If infidelity has already occurred, Bisbey’s top tips for negotiating and repairing a relationship include:
“Get professional help; there is a much higher chance of being able to move forward if the couple works with a professional who can help to make sure talking it through is done in a way that doesn’t cause further damage.
“Understand that repairing trust is the most difficult part of moving in from an affair and have patience with each other. Be transparent and reassure your partner if you were the one who had the affair.
“Cut all communication with the person with whom you had the affair. This is important in order to refocus on the relationship and give it a chance to heal.”personal counseling, as well as through her self-help book, Dancing the Edge to Reclaiming Your Reality and podcast A to Z of Sex®.
Bisbey is available for To learn more, find and follow Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey at:DrLoriBethBisbey.com
ABOUT DR. LORI BETH BISBEY:
Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey is a clinical psychologist, sex/intimacy coach, author, speaker and podcast host based in London. With more than 30 years helping people create and sustain meaningful and exciting relationships, Dr. Bisbey specialises in GSRD (gender, sexuality, relationship diversity), is consensual non-monogamy and kink BDSM knowledgable and helps traumatised people to move from victim to survivor and back into life.
On a mission to create an open dialogue about sex, sexual identity, and self-expression, Dr. Bisbey is the host of a weekly internet radio show, The A to Z of Sex®, as well as a passionate speaker, dynamic workshop facilitator and sought-after expert in the media on the topics of sex, sexuality, intimacy, relationships and sexual trauma.
Dr. Bisbey is the author of Chopping Wood, Shaping Metal & Other Erotic Stories, Dancing the Edge to Reclaiming Your Reality: Essential Life Skills for Gaslighting (and Trauma) Survivors and Dancing the Edge to Surrender: An Erotic Memoir of Trauma and Survival, and identifies as a queer consensually non-monogamous leather woman, and is in a full-time authority transfer-based relationship with her husband. To learn more, visit DrLoriBethBisbey.com.