Art’s World – The 10 Worst Christmas Songs

A bonus “Art’s World”………….Last week I gave you my picks for my list of my 10 favorite Christmas songs and my comments.  When it came to the “worst” Christmas songs, once again I checked various surveys and guess what? Same thing, no survey was close to one another. Here then, in no particular order, is my Top 10 worst and why.

“The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late),” Alvin and the Chipmunks – Okay, listen once just for the novelty and that’s it! Clever idea by David Seville, and they were a big success with other songs and an album, But once for this was more than enough.

“Dominick the Donkey”, Lou Monte – He had some success in the 50’s and 60’s with Italian novelty songs like “Pepino the Mouse” and “Lazy Mary”, but this take off on Rudolph is totally horrendous. My apologies to all the donkeys for this mess.

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” – Jimmy Boyd – Another of those hear it once and that’s enough cuteness. Beyond that, some stations won’t play it because straight laced prudes think the song is ‘obscene”. But that’s because they don’t get the joke in the lyrics.

“Santa Baby”, Michael Buble – I love Buble and his performances, but taking this long time favorite that Eartha Kitt turned in to a sexy hit, was the wrong idea. Changing the lyrics to fit a guy with words like “pal”, “dude” and “buddy” was just blah. Sorry Michael big mistake here.

“I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas,” Gayla Peevey –How this even made any list is a miracle. Gayla was a 10 year old back in 1953 when this was done. While she has a decent voice, the whole novelty is just ridiculous unless you have a huge house, it is definitely a “worst” pick.

“Funky, Funky Xmas,” New Kids on the Block – Just because they were a big hit in the 80’s doesn’t mean doing a Christmas song is gold. This one sure wasn’t and it is so replete of the 80’s time frame,  that is where it should stay. What is a “funky” Christmas anyway?

“Do They Know It’s Christmas?,” Band Aid – The original intent, to help feed the people of Ethiopia back in 1984 during the famine, was a great idea. A super group of recording stars to do a Christmas themed song. Unfortunately one listen to it is more than enough.

“Christmas Tree” – Lady Gaga – This was released back when she was still doing the outrageous costumes, makeup and crazy songs. Unfortunately this “Christmas” song was absolutely a major blunder. I’m as open minded as they come but the sexual innuendos in this song for a Christmas song are just terrible. Thankfully, she has come a long way since in a very good way.

“All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”  – Spike Jones and His City Slickers – This novelty made it to #1 in 1948 and 1949.  It has been recorded by every music genre from Ray Stevens to the Platters to Nat “King” Cole. It was also done as a parody by RuPaul and the Three Stooges…..enough said!

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” Elmo & Patsy – You knew this one would make the list didn’t you? Okay the novelty at the time was cute, grandma getting tipsy on eggnog and then….bam! But given the social climate in today’s PC world there is just no good place for it and especially during this Christmas with the pandemic taking so many lives.

BONUS SELECTION – White Christmas – The Drifters – A big hit group in the 50’s and 60’s they took this Crosby classic and gave it a subdued rock and roll spin. Between the deep bass and high falsetto and mid tempo beat it was really bad. But it was so bad that after hearing it a few times and some eggnog, it was actually pretty good!

There you have my own personal list of the worst Christmas songs. I think most will agree on these and have others you think are the ‘worst”. Please feel free to comment on this list and let us know about some of your thoughts. Wednesday’s “Art’s World” will feature my “5 Best Christmas Movies”.

Art Koch, National Features & DVD Editor, NightMoves Magazine and AAN